Has Your Relationship Started to Grow Cold?
- Are you struggling to resolve conflicts with your significant other?
- Has constant arguing left you in a state of despair?
- Do you and your partner incessantly blame, insult and criticize one another?
- Has intimacy fallen by the wayside?
- Are you avoiding your spouse because you fear interaction will only result in further tension or arguments?
- Do you worry your partner is cheating or have you considered stepping outside of the relationship yourself?
- Do you yearn to feel close you your partner once again?
Like many romantic partnerships, yours likely began with the heartfelt feelings of passion, intimacy and love. However, after the honeymoon period drew to a close, these feelings might have diminished, leading to conflict in your relationship. Perhaps you and your partner constantly fight over fundamental issues like parenting, finances or household chores. You may resent your partner and see him or her as an adversary rather than an ally. Perhaps you often blame, belittle and criticize each other, resulting in long-lasting emotional wounds. You may no longer trust your partner or feel misunderstood by him or her. Codependency might also be a problem for you. You might feel like you’re responsible for your partner’s successes and/or failures and feel the problems in your relationship are your fault.
If your relationship is at the breaking point, you may be in a very dark, despairing place. Perhaps you’re desperate to reconnect with your partner, but fear separation or divorce is just around the corner.
Many Couples Struggle With Conflict
If you and your partner bicker over seemingly insignificant things, then you’re experiencing a timeless hallmark of relationships. Almost all couples have disagreements, especially when they are under stress. We live in hectic times – many of us are overworked and overbooked. Worries about money, careers and raising children, along with the pressure to succeed, lead many people – whether consciously or not – to take their frustrations out on their partner.
A little conflict in relationships is natural and can even be healthy, especially if it leads to compromise. But if you constantly lash out with belittling, contemptuous behavior or have become avoidant or withdrawn, then relationship counseling can help. With guidance, you and your partner can identify, explore and address your unhealthy dynamic and restore harmony, passion and teamwork to your relationship.
Couples Counseling Can Help Revive Your Partnership
You may be worried that your relationship is doomed, but that doesn’t have to be the case. With time, patience and a willingness to do the work, it’s possible to restore appreciation and mutual respect with your partner. As a therapist with over 10 years of experience working with couples and families, I’ve seen many people resolve their differences through therapy.
Through relationship counseling, you can learn to communicate in healthy ways that don’t belittle or hurt your partner. In a safe, nonjudgmental, compassionate environment, you’ll be able to openly discuss your issues with an impartial mediator who will never take sides. Neither you nor your partner will be blamed for your problems. I can help you see how you both contribute to conflict. I can teach you how to express yourself honestly, as well as how to listen to your partner with compassion. I can also teach you conflict resolution skills you perhaps haven’t used before. You can begin to communicate in a non-aggressive manner and find tools to better manage anger and express dissatisfaction. You’ll learn how to take these communication strategies and activities outside the office so that conflict resolution can happen in real time. I’ll also encourage you to set aside time for each other and to share enjoyed activities so that romance can be a part of your lives once again. Throughout our sessions, I will use a variety of cognitive behavioral techniques to address your unique set of issues and we’ll develop a therapy strategy that’s best for your unique relationship.
Your relationship isn’t over yet. With the help of a professional, unbiased, empathic therapist, you and your partner can become friends, lovers and confidants again. You can begin to enjoy each other’s company, find forgiveness and come back to a place of peace and mutual appreciation.
Perhaps you’re ready to give counseling a try, but still have a few questions or concerns…
I don’t think couples counseling will work.
In my practice, I employ an eclectic set of techniques and modalities. I create each therapy strategy according to my clients’ needs and will work hard to find the one that’s best for you. I’ve been helping couples and families overcome dysfunction and dissatisfaction in their relationships for over 10 years. If you and your partner work hard, practice patience and have a willingness to look within, then I’m confident relationship counseling can help you.
I’m worried I’ll be blamed for the difficulties in our relationship.
In my office you’ll find a safe, blame-free space. I will act as a mediator and will never take sides during your arguments. Together we will work toward conflict resolution so both parties can openly, honestly and compassionately express their point of view without fear, ridicule or reprisal.
My partner refuses to go to couples counseling. There’s no point in going.
Even if your partner won’t come to counseling, you can still reap the benefits of therapy. Your partner doesn’t need to be present in order for you to improve your communication skills or learn to effectively cope with negative emotions. You can make many strides all on your own, which will not only improve your relationship, but may also improve other areas of your life as well. Once your partner sees you making improvements, he or she may be more willing to participate.
It’s Possible To Love Again
With the help of therapy, it’s possible to recover trust, peace, harmony and understanding in your relationship. Don’t spend your life wondering what might have been. Feel free to call me at (516) 639-0925. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation and would be happy to answer any questions you have about my practice or couples counseling.